"Standing on the shoulder of giant"Beneth the men of entirely great, the pen is mightly than sword

Once I imaged that I could strut my stuff with skinny bone structure on the Channel TV commercial as Keira Knightly or any kind of actress. Or with a characteristic and a little bit cosmetic surgery, laying on the beach, and develop some sexy pictures. And more, more, I wanna dressing like Branch Bubois on the stage and act “The street car named desire” once more. But now, I am not a entertain business worker, not an artist, or even not a literature student, I just a employee of a trading company, and star the monitor for 12 hours per day, work on the shipping, sales, and international law, or sometimes, more intense and uncomfortable, for the endless typing, accounting or reading some products information, like tools or solder. If that is the reality, my impression is that I felt the life is so mechanic, so repetitive, and makes me want to cry or run away. Some one plunged him or herself in to the sex, alcohol or smoking, once I degenerated my self in the ending media excitement, but now I have to back or support myself up, I really pay the high value on myself, once I thought I was different, I regarded I am smart, with certain kind of sense, but now I am wrong, I keep on finding the reason why I should live, and the answer make me keep upset. I entered the business career, but I still image that my time should not always on the monitor or coaxed in excel. It has never happened before; I thought I should be strong, not weak as before. I am not standing on the shoulder of giant, I just creeping under her paw.